This week I have found a story in the Leader-Post by Pamela Roth. It refers to the work being done by Dove to help women improve their self-esteem at the Dove real Beauty Workshop. You can read about that below.
I have recently encountered a couple of people who have a drinking problem and both of them have self-esteem issues. Now this is a very big subject and I cannot hope to cover every aspect of it here, but I have decided to write about some of the possible issues that cause low self-esteem and why someone with low self-esteem may drink excessively. If this affects you, I might not cover the reasons you drink, but it may help you if you understand some of the principles that cause substance abuse (not just alcohol) because you may be able to apply them to your own circumstances.
But before that, here is the news item I mentioned:
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Teaching girls’ self-esteem at the
Dove Real Beauty workshop
By Pamela Roth
This is taken from an article in the Leader-Post, published on May 31, 2010.
© Copyright (c) The Regina Leader-Post
After hearing about ten-year old girls wearing make-up, Danielle Maier was eager to bring her nine-year-old daughter, Samantha, to the Dove Real Beauty workshop — an event for girls aged 8-13, and their female mentors, that builds self-esteem.
Growing up comes with a realization of self-image, said Maier, who would like nothing more than to help her daughter grow up to be a strong, confident woman with a positive self-esteem.
“I find that girls are more conscious of their image a lot younger,” said Maier. “When they are in Grade 4 or 5, they shouldn’t have to worry about watching what they eat or what they wear. I just want her to realize that stuff is not real.”
In a world fascinated with celebrities and thin models gracing the covers of magazines, billboards and television sets every day, it’s often hard for girls not to struggle with their self-esteem — just ask Sharon MacLeod, Dove brand building director for Unilever Canada.
According to MacLeod — the “brain” behind the Dove Real Beauty Campaign, which aims to free the next generation from beauty stereotypes — only two per cent of women felt comfortable describing themselves as beautiful in a global study of 17 countries around the globe.
MacLeod said developing a positive self-esteem begins at a young age, which is why the beauty workshops have reached out to almost 400,000 young girls in Canada, and nearly 4.5 million worldwide.
“We know between the ages of 8 and 13 is when girls really form their view of themselves, especially their body image,” said MacLeod, who spoke to nearly 400 girls during Sunday’s workshop at the MacKenzie Art Gallery in Regina.
“It’s much harder to change that later, so it’s important to start with conversation for moms to talk to their daughters in that age group.”
Despite the way women are portrayed in the media, MacLeod said mothers play the most important roll in the development of their daughter’s self-esteem, and can become a positive influence by simply talking regularly about self-image.
When girls have a low self-esteem, MacLeod said it can have an enormous impact on their life, causing them to drop out of school or stop socializing with their friends.
But with enough positive re-enforcement, she said a young girl can easily feel good about herself and reach her full potential.
“If you really help foster the self-esteem in girls and give them the confidence and the opportunity, they can achieve everything in their life,” said MacLeod, who admits she has struggled with her own self-esteem at times.
How can we use this to help us grow? Well, another news item I looked at was about people (mostly women) who choose cosmetic surgery to improve the parts of their body that they are not happy with. In practice, it is often possible to get a similar (sometimes better) effect with the creative use of make-up, or to gain breast enhancement from wearing the right bra. The first rule is to make the best of what you have and the second rule is to always be happy and grateful for what you have. You might dismiss these ‘rules’, but trust me, they will take you a long way in the pursuit of happiness and raised self-esteem. If you want to be happy in the future, you need to start by being happy now.
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Low Self Esteem And Alcohol Intake
Low self-esteem comes from many sources. It may have come from regular negative comments from parents, peers, teachers or anyone else you may have come into contact with. Let’s give a school example; suppose you were asked to add two plus two and you answered ‘four’. You would be right and your teacher would probably praise you, yet what did you learn? Nothing! You already knew the answer. Now suppose you answered ‘five’ and the teacher ridiculed you for getting it wrong. What did you learn? You learned not to answer questions and to hide the fact you didn’t know. You learned that you were inadequate and perhaps there was something wrong with you. You learned to have low self-esteem. This is what happens in many schools.
Now let’s suppose you answered ‘five’ and instead of ridiculing you, the teacher gently showed you why the answer must be four. What did you learn? You learned that two plus two was four. Isn’t that better? Notice that if you already knew the answer you learned nothing. It is only when you don’t know the answer that you have the opportunity to learn. Thus, the school should praise you for getting the answer wrong, or rather for making an attempt, because now you can learn. Isn’t that why you are in school?
So schools and society unintentionally- and sometimes intentionally – teach you that you are ‘stupid’, inadequate and of low value and so you start to act that way. Of course, your upbringing might be much better or worse than that, but if something like this happens, your self-esteem is lowered and you tend to withdraw from society for fear of making a mistake. You put on an outer ‘shell’ and hide inside. If it all gets too much for you, then you will look for better ways to hide from the harsh world you live in and this is where substance abuse can start.
When you think negatively about yourself, you probably won’t be very able to deal with life or to cope with the feelings that you have. So you might then turn to something which does seem to deal with those feelings, if only temporarily– alcohol, drugs, food, whatever it might be. As you continue, you become more and more disconnected from reality and therefore from your problems and so they become increasingly remote and unimportant. Gradually, you can come to rely on those things, but the downside is that your problems are now greater than before.
The dependent use of alcohol can further damage self-esteem and reinforce your negative beliefs. “I’m an alcoholic now too, so I must be really useless.” Addiction can lead to social isolation or uncontrolled behaviour and this may alienate those who may have supported you and this makes it even more difficult to recover your confidence.
Unfortunately, what normally happens is that your friends and family become concerned about the alcohol use, rather than the low self-esteem that’s caused the problem in the first place.
So how can you recover from this situation? Self-esteem is about self-worth. That is, how much value you put on yourself. It has nothing to do with how much other people value you. Thus, the simple solution is to start to value yourself. Recognise that you are just as valuable as those around you.
Here are seven tips for you to think about:
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Get enough sleep – the your problems will seem much worse if you are tired
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Talk to someone – a problem shared is a problem halved, so if you have a problem talk it over with someone you trust
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Eat a proper balanced diet – to be healthy, you need a healthy diet
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Drink enough water – your body is mostly water and dehydration can cause confusion, memory loss and several medical conditions
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Get regular exercise – if you don’t exercise enough, your body will become sluggish and you will lose energy and fitness
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Decrease alcoholic intake – alcohol is a depressant
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Make time for yourself – relax and do things you enjoy.
Finally, I will repeat myself. Be grateful for what you have – pessimists and people who are depressed concentrate on what is wrong with life, optimists and those who are happy concentrate on what is right. Regardless of your situation, you have many things to be grateful for, even if it is just that you can read this. Every day look for your blessings. If you don’t look for them, how can you expect to find them?
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If there was one thing that would turn your life around, what would it be? I will do my best to help you in this newsletter or in my blog. The simplest way for you to leave feedback is to leave a comment on this blog. You can do that on the home page.
Near the top of the page you will see the words, “How are we doing?”
Click on “Leave your comment” and tell me about your biggest life challenge and what you would prefer instead.
To your success,
Bill Webb
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