Did you ever lose your keys? Of course you did. But did you know that a technique for finding them can also lead you to the life of your dreams? I doubt it, although I know some of you will. I have written an article that not only helps you to find your keys every time, but also will teach you how to use the same technique to achieve your goals. Let me know how you get on.
Do you want anonymous help with something in particular? Let me know and I will do my best to include an article on it would you like me to cover a particular topic? Let me know.
Before my article, I have another from Elaine Doxie who wonders if low self-esteem can be caused by emotional abuse. Here is her article.
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How to know if low self-esteem
is caused by emotional abuse
By Elaine Doxie
Published by Helium www.helium.com
Emotional abuse is a type of abuse that can sometimes be hard to pin down. The scars are hidden deep within and not visible to the naked eye. Sometimes, even the victim herself is not aware of how badly she is being abused until either someone else points it out that her husband’s behavior is not normal, or her confidence levels have dropped so low that there’s almost no way out. When your self-esteem starts dropping, this could be a sign that you are being emotionally abused. Emotional abuse is obvious when there is name calling or ridicule involved, but sometimes it’s more subtle, and that much more insidious because if it.
One of the signs to look for is that you start to lose confidence in things that you once considered yourself good at. For example, if you are a former fashionista, and suddenly think that you can’t put together an outfit to save your life, because your husband doesn’t think that anyone but a “professional” salesperson can do it, this is a sign of emotional abuse. If you are losing confidence in your abilities, this is likely caused by emotional abuse. He may not be insulting you directly, but he may start telling you that things are better left to people who know what they’re doing, even if you have done it before and were good at it.
Another sign to look for is that the things you do go unrecognized. Almost every husband takes his wife for granted occasionally, and almost every wife takes her husband for granted sometimes. What I’m talking about is when you do so much and are recognized so little that you feel invisible, like your needs, wants and desires don’t matter at all. Your husband shouldn’t have to thank you for a meal each night, but he should occasionally compliment you on a job well done. If you only hear about it when you’ve screwed up, this could be emotional abuse.
If your emotional needs are not being met in spite of the fact that you have tried your hardest to communicate those needs to him. If he continually ignores your emotional needs, but expects you to listen to his needs and meet his needs constantly, this is emotionally abusive behavior. If you have not communicated your needs to him, that’s one thing, and gives him a pass, but if you have told him what your needs are, and he still ignores them, or he blocks your attempts to communicate with him, this is emotional abuse.
All of these things can be contributing factors to low self-esteem. In a healthy relationship, you will feel listened to, at least most of the time. You will feel valued. You will feel loved. If there is emotional abuse, you will feel none of those things.
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How Finding Your Keys Can Give
You The Keys To Life
How many times have you lost your car keys? Or perhaps you have lost something else? You know how it is, you come in, put your keys down, make yourself a cup of tea or coffee, watch the television, get on with your life, and then you need to go out and you can’t remember where you put your keys. You search everywhere, but you just can’t find them. You start to say to yourself, “Where are my keys? Why can’t I find them? I am always losing my keys. I can never find them. I don’t know how long I spend looking for them. I have such a poor memory, I can never find them.
Why is it that you can never find them? Well, actually, if you think about it, you always do find them in the end, but you can never find when you want them can you? So how would you like to find them every time? How would you like to be certain that you can always find your keys (or anything else) whenever you want to? You don’t need to buy an electronic key finder, you can do it yourself. Everybody has the ability to do this if you just know how.
Let’s start by assuming that your unconscious mind records everything you do. There is certainly much evidence to suggest that this is the case, and – as this is true – it means that your unconscious mind always knows where you put your keys because, after all, it was you who put them there. So how can you access this information to find your keys?
The answer is simple; you ask for it. To put it rather simplistically, you say, “Dear unconscious mind, please tell me where my keys are,” and then you wait for it to tell you. It’s important at this point to say that your unconscious mind does not necessarily communicate in words, so don’t expect a little voice to immediately give you the answer. Your unconscious mind communicates in pictures, sounds, smells, tastes or even emotions and of course, it may communicate in words as well. So be ready for whatever comes to your mind. Do not discount anything.
The answer may not come straight away, but it will come. Just trust that it will and you will soon have your answer. So how does it work?
When I do this, I ask for the location of my keys or whatever it is that I cannot find and once I have done that I know the answer will come. Then I do something else. I forget about my keys and find something else to do. On one occasion, I went to my bedroom to get something and when I got there I found that I was looking straight at my keys. I picked them up and then I could no longer remember why I was there. When I thought about it afterwards, I realised that the only reason I had gone to my bedroom was to get my keys. On other occasions, I have simply found myself looking at them while I was doing something else. It may be different for you, but that’s how it usually works for me.
However, there is something else going on here that explains why this method is so successful. The way you have always done it in the past simply doesn’t work. You were saying those things to yourself that I mentioned at the beginning of this article. Things like, “I can never find my keys, I have such a bad memory” and so on. The problem with this is that you are constantly telling yourself that you are unable to find your keys, that your memory is poor and that implies that nothing is ever going to change. All the things that you were saying are like instructions to your unconscious mind and so you are effectively saying, “don’t find my keys and give me a poor memory”. You might not necessarily accept this, but that is still the way it works. When you start to think of it in these terms, you will understand why it cannot be a successful strategy.
However, once you realise that your unconscious mind must have the information you need stored away, this gives you the opportunity to ask for it and to expect the answer to come. You have moved from ‘impossible’ to ‘possible and your belief has changed from ‘I cannot find my keys’ to, ‘I can find my keys’. This change of belief is essential because you will always experience what you believe to be true. As Henry Ford once said, “If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you will be right”.
Now let’s extend that learning to things other than keys. If you see a problem or some form of lack in your life, then concentrating on the problem, or the lack, will not fix the problem. It will tend to perpetuate it. You may think that analysing the problem will lead to the solution, but it won’t. To solve problems or to achieve your goals, don’t focus on the problem, but on what you want instead. The current problem teaches you how to grow, so learn from it. Always know that there is a solution and that you can have whatever you want. Remember to focus your mind only on what you want. So long as you keep doing that, you will find a way to solve the problems and take you to where you want to go. Once you know that you can have whatever you want, even if it is just your keys, trust me, it will come to you. All you have to do is expect it and believe it.
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If there was one thing that would turn your life around, what would it be? I will do my best to help you in this newsletter or in my blog. The simplest way for you to leave feedback is to go to my blog and leave a comment. You can do that at:
http://raisingyourselfesteem.com/blog/
Near the top of the page you will see the words, “How are we
doing?” Click on “Leave your comment” and tell me about
your biggest life challenge.
As ever, I hope you really found this useful.
To your success,
Bill Webb
www.rasingyourselfesteem.com
www.raisingyourselfesteem.com/blog
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Bill Webb has spent all his life supporting people to help them overcome obstacles in their life. He has been a Personal Development expert since 2000 and uses hypnosis and conversational change to assist people to understand how to achieve their life goals and their dreams.
