If you think about someone you know or have met, someone who always seems to be happy, do you notice how much they enjoy life? Do you notice that they are less stressed than most people? Being happy, and optimistic makes your life wonderful and is improves your health because happiness reduces the stress you feel and stress is linked to such diseases as cancer, stroke and heart disease.

Some years ago, while I was working away from home, I parked my caravan on a farm. During the evening when I was in my caravan, I probably would not see anyone else at all and apart from the occasional sound of sheep, cows or horses that were sometimes in the adjacent field, I hardly heard a sound. It was so peaceful and relaxing. I did not have a television and my radio didn’t work very well and so I didn’t use it. I just loved every moment. Once I had been there for a while, I didn’t want to leave.

Yet during the day I was pleased to be with my workmates, many of whom became very good friends. We really cannot be truly happy without relationships with other people. It is those times when we are with people that we trust or especially if we have the opportunity to help someone, that we can be truly happy. Many people, including myself, love the peace and quiet that can come from being on your own, yet we still need other people to teach us how to love, to bring us mutual support and, conversely, to teach us how to handle stress. The way to do keep stress low in our relationships is to accept people for who they are.

Think about this; when somebody yells at you or gets upset with you, it is their bad feeling that causes them to say what they are saying and do what they are doing. In other words, they are complaining because they do not like how they feel. They may be blaming you for how they feel, but how they feel is much more about them than it is about you. You are not responsible for their feelings and you cannot change them, only they can do that. Whether they know it or believe it or not, only they can control how they feel and no matter how psychic you are, you cannot change their feelings one bit.

Accept people for who they are and you can reduce tension and therefore reduce arguments. If it seems that you cannot avoid an argument, do your best to see it from the perspective of the other person and understand why they are upset. By empathising with them, it makes it very difficult for them to argue with you. Above all, don’t let it get to you.

Happiness is not dependant upon someone or something else. If you find yourself saying, “I’ll be happy when… (somebody does something or something happens)”, then you will wait forever. Don’t let your happiness wait for something that’s out of your control; you can be happy any time you want to be, so why wait? Happiness always comes from within and if you are happy, you will automatically feel better and your health will improve at the same time.

Being happy is easy – all you have to do is to decide to be a happy. Of course if you are depressed, it won’t seem that simple. If you are depressed, then you probably need help. Try sitting on the edge of your chair and looking up to the ceiling with a stupid grin on your face. Go on, try it now! Really do it now. So how do you feel? Stupid, right? And did you laugh? I bet you did. You can be happy any time you want to be. The choice is simple really, choose to be happy.

Here are some things that you can do to instantly change your mood.

Be Grateful

You have an enormous amount to be thankful for – even if it is just that you can read this. The fact that you can read this means, not only that you can read and that somebody taught you to read, but also that you probably have access to the internet and a computer to read it on. That’s already a great deal to be thankful for. Look around the room and think about all the things you are grateful for. Perhaps you have a pet, or a television. You probably have a roof over your head and somewhere to protect you from the weather. You have clothes to wear and shoes on your feet. Be grateful for the trees, flowers, birds and animals. There really is so much that you should be thankful for. Be grateful for it all.

Turn The News Off

Almost all of the news is bad news. Bad news sells newspapers and get viewers on the television or listeners on the radio. News is stressful. Many people can’t start their day without listening to the news, yet if you start your day with bad news you are starting the day badly. To start the day well, start it with good feelings. Laugh and look forward to the day. Don’t listen to the news.

Spirituality

You may or may not be religious. If you are, pray, join groups and attend church for the sense of community that it brings. If you are not religious, then notice that spirituality is about feeling good, feeling and giving love and comfort. It involves the feeling of belonging and the joy of helping others (everybody feels that at some level). It’s about doing and thinking what you enjoy. If you are feeling bad, it is because you are thinking the wrong thoughts, if you feel good, it is because you are thinking the right ones.

Manage your time

Time is valuable and yet many of us waste it by being unproductive. Fortunately, we all get the same amount of time measured out to us every day and so we can always learn to manage our time. Time management involves setting goals, planning, creating lists and prioritizing. Some people find these things difficult and others find them easy. If it is easy for you, then you have probably done it already. If you are poor at these skills, do your best to learn how to be productive because you will get much more done that way.

Laugh

Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and you cry alone. Laugh heartily every day. Tell jokes and always look for the funny side of things. Laughter is the best medicine.

Be Affectionate

Express your feelings, affections and friendship to those around you. Tell them you care about them (if you do). They will probably appreciate what you say and are likely to reciprocate. Be open and honest. Do not keep anger, frustrations or bad memories stored up, this is bad for your health. Instead find a way to forgive. Only you are hurt by the bad feelings, so let them go.

Work Hard

Be motivated about what you do for a living. If you don’t like your work that much, find a way to enjoy it and appreciate it. Working for others can bring tremendous personal satisfaction. Be grateful for the job that you have and that will help to give you a sense of value.

Study Personal Development

There is an old saying, “Use it or lose it” and this includes your ability to think logically and clearly. Do mental exercises, read anything or get any programme from the self-help or personal development field. Learn something new every day. Learning expands your horizons and so gives you increased opportunities.

Exercise

Get regular exercise. It is recommended that you do at least twenty minutes of exercise three times a week. The exercise should make you sweat a little, but don’t get out of breath. If you have a medical condition or have any reason to suspect your ability to exercise, then speak to your doctor first. Whatever your level of fitness, there are always exercises that you can do. Almost everybody can walk or climb the stairs; if you are fit enough you can swim, jog or run, or play sport with others, but whatever you do, make it something that you enjoy.

Filed under: Self Esteem

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